Being a Northerner

My life has been changing so rapidly over the last two months. It was a totally unexpected change and parts of me totally did not want it, but then part of me knew that it necessary for me to keep growing. So God brought some serious changes into my life. My job situation changed, my location changed, my apartment is changing. As difficult as it all seemed at the beginning, it has been so worth it! God brought such wonderful and necessary changes.

So I have a little bit of time on my hands, so I signed up for a free trial on ancestry.com. You know that family history website?

It has been so much fun! I just had to share. My husband's family immigrated to the US within the last 100 years. My dad's family has been really hard to track. I haven't gotten very far. But mom's family apparently has tons of records! Like, way too much information!! 

Interesting things about my mom's family - they were all faithful in church. They all worked hard. They weren't rich or famous or especially important to an American history book, but they lived and that makes them important! I am a true Northerner. My family is exclusively from the Northern colonies - we landed here shortly after the Mayflower and helped settle all of the major colonial cities. 

Prior to that I have traced the family back to the 1400s. It got easier when I found John the 9th, still carrying the family name. I have only tracked back to John the 5th so far. 

Before we landed in the colonies and became as Northern as Northern gets, we were about as European as European gets. I have at least one family member from every European country. 

But at least now I understand why I sometimes have such difficulty adjusting to the South. I am a Northerner to the core! 

Heels & Wheels

No denying it... no matter how many hours I spend talking to Southerners, I am still a Northerner in my brain. I have finally learned that parkway means a long road. Viaduct means overpass. Sweet tea &  cornbread means heavenly manna to Southerners. Cut the switch means to turn ON the lights if they are off and turn OFF the lights if they are on. And a whole collection of other words that have new meaning to me. (Secret - sometimes I sit there and just nod because I am so totally lost. Those words are not in my vocabulary yet!)

So the other day I was sitting in church and the pastor said, "And we know that God owns all the heels." I was sitting their thinking - Well, that was strange. I know God is in control of my feet, but really that doesn't fit with the message.... at all. The whole concept of God owning feet really just went over my head. It must be a Southern thing.

Then this week in pastor's message, he mentioned that we have to follow God's wheel. The image that popped into my head was a wagon wheel or a chariot wheel leaving a dusty imprint in the dirt. He had just mentioned a chariot, so I guess we need to follow God's chariot? That makes sense. I think.

As I was sitting there, thinking about God owning the heels and following God's wheels... a strange thought occurred to me. Perhaps he meant God owns all the HILLS and we should follow God's WILL! Oh boy!! Am I really that blonde? It took me way too long to figure that out. So much for those thoughts about Oregon Trails.

Feeling at Home

When I moved it to Small Town, South, I knew that it was going to be culture shock. I knew that it was going to be tough. While I had lived in some polar-extreme places throughout the country, Small Town was going to be a really big change. I am a suburbs girl, and I was settling so far from the suburbs it was funny. Needless to say, the first couple of months I didn't feel at home.

Six months passed and I still didn't feel at home. Trust me it wasn't just moving away from close family and friends. My philosophy has always been family will always be there, and so will your closest friends... It was the culture shock. As one of my friends said, "You need a passport to go to that area." The food - beans, fried something, beans, and more greasy, fried something. The total lack of any friends or even people to talk to. The lack of convenience. (I still struggle with grocery shopping.)

How do you feel at home in a place that is clearly not home?

1.  Get to know the people. Invite them into your home for a simple dinner, chat, play games. (Playing games is really big here.) If they invite you into their home, don't turn down the offer unless you absolutely have to. Spend time talking to them before and after the church services. Make sure you are ready for the services before you get there, so that you can talk with the people. I like to stand in the lobby and greet people as they come into the building. Pray for them. After being at Small Town Baptist Church for sixth months, I still felt that I hadn't made much headway in getting to know the people in the church. They were so skeptical of my husband and I, but slowly, and I mean slowly, they started to come around.

2.  Be involved. It's kind of funny telling ministry-minded people to be involved, isn't it? Don't be so involved in the work of the ministry that you ignore the people of the ministry. So chat with the other lady in the nursery with you. Smile and chat as you serve food or pour beverages. Hand out bulletins or visitor packets. Always smile and always be friendly. You might have to be out of your comfort zone, but consider it an investment. Its an investment with a huge payday!

3.  Try new things. So yes, that new food sounds totally disgusting... And it tastes worse! But is it a local favorite. Just dig in once so that you can say that you have tried it. If people love doing a particular activity - like playing board games or hunting, join in! You don't have to do the new stuff all the time, but you certainly want to try it once. And you never know, you just might like it.

4.  Make memories. It's seems so simple and yet isn't all that easy to do. Get yourself a tour guide book for your state and a visitor's guide for your area... and become a tourist. (Check the local library!) Plan dates with your husband or your family to see the sights in your area. It's one of things that when you have lived in area for a while, you kind of forget to do. Find the historical sights. Visit the parks. Plan a picnic at the park. On a special day, spend some money and hit the tourist attractions. Just have fun exploring your area! Take pictures to record the memories. This is really important, especially if things aren't going well in your ministry. You will still have good and fun memories at that location. And because you have explored and gotten to know your area, you will feel more at home because of that personal connection.



Also, don't expect to feel at home overnight. I remember when my mom moved quite a distance away from the town she had lived in her entire life. It took her about four years to call our new area "home." When I moved to a different state in a different part of the country, I experienced the same type of thing. It took many, many months to feel at home. And we are still working at it.

~Kay

Country Girl

So I am talking to this old man in the church, and he asked me if I knew that salt was a preservative.

Who doesn't know that? I did play Oregon Trails in elementary school. And I think that I learned about that in history class, and science class, and Bible class.

Of course, I said, "Yes."

This is where it gets funny - the old man told me that I must be a country girl because I knew that was salt was a preservative.

Yes, I did laugh... out loud.

Can honestly say that I have never been accused of being a country girl before.

My God Is Greater

On Sunday I went to church and honestly my mind was elsewhere. Besides dealing with some personal issues that had led to some serious discouragement, I was struggling with the fact that one church VIP doesn't ever attend Sunday school (and to do what they do, it is absolutely required) and another church VIP never goes soul winning or door knocking (but they always complain about how the church isn't growing as quickly as they wish). On top of that, I was talking to one lady who asked me a question, and she walked away as I was answering her. How rude! She asked me the question. She was the one looking for the answer and she just walked away!

Truth be told I shouldn't have been focusing on that. You know, God wants us to worry about ourself and let Him work in the hearts of others. I have my own problems (like allowing other people's spiritual flaws frustrate me), and I had to get that right with God. 

So personal areas of discouragement on top of frustration with the people around me... 

But my God is so much greater. He still works in people's lives. He still knows all of my problems. He still moves in others. 

I had the privilege of leading a lady to the Lord on Sunday. She proceeded to get baptized. I didn't even have to ask her if it was something that she was interested. She wanted to get saved! She wanted to get baptized! God had done all of the work in her heart and all I had to do was stand there and watch God move! It was incredible. 

On top of that, a teenage boy got things right with the Lord and a family committed their lives to the Lord. 

While there are still frustrations in life, my God is so much greater than this world. 

Isn't God good?

Must Be a Southern Thing

I am waiting to meet someone I barely know. I get a text saying, "On my way." Where I am from, that means, I am on my way - will be there soon.

Now Small Town, South, is one of the towns that you cannot get lost in. You could drive circles around it, and still not get lost. So when I got the text that said "On my way" I assumed it meant that the person would be there shortly.

Nope.

Wishful thinking.

Three hours later!!! I get another text, saying "Hey, sorry! Stopped off for some lunch and shopping. Be there in half an hour."

What??? You told me you were on your way! Glad I was sitting in my living room and not at Walmart or some other public location.

Please do me a favor, let the person you are meeting know that you are going to be late!

Confessions of a Teacher

In a former life, I was a school teacher. (Like a couple of years ago...not reincarnation.) Young, new, and eager. I had the normal love/hate relationship with teaching. Anyone who knew me or worked with me would tell you that I was stretched too far, hence the "hate" part of the equation. Teaching was far more of a "love."

I was passionate about my subjects and imparting a world of knowledge to my students, who eventually became eager too. My lesson plans were rich and teeming with exciting supplemental material, and I was always on the look out for new ways to present the lessons - especially in the form of books with pictures or illustrations. Hey, high school students dig the pictures as much as the elementary students!

Then one day, I found myself in the world outside of the classroom. A boring world, totally deprived of happy students, chalkboards, and summer breaks.

It was... liberating?... to not go to school for the first time in twenty years. For the first few weeks! Then to deal with the emotion, I packed up all of my school stuff - now useless junk and put it in dark, shadowy corner of my spare room.

All was well until my husband and I decided we were settled enough to have overnight guests. Translation: time to make the spare room liveable for either us or the guests.

Translation: I have to face my school stuff again.

We were hoping to sell some of the "junk" in order to purchase a nice used bed frame. And clear out space for a bed by getting rid of some stuff. Almost all of our furniture comes from a great yard sale or old storage unit.

Well, that plan has been derailed.

I can't part with my beautiful picture books, old textbooks, and teacher-stuff.

The reality is, it might be junk. But I literally dream about teaching again.

~Kay

Confessions of a Northerner, Part 2

It's been an interesting life. (sigh...) Once you think you are finally used to everything that there is to be used to in the South, something new pops up. 

1. Area Codes

Ok, people, area codes are not an accessory on your phone number. They are an essential part of your phone number. Your number is incomplete without the section archaically labelled "area code." 

Here in Small Town, South, there is only one area code in a 30+ mile radius. In Big City, Northeast, there are at least five area codes in 30 mile radius. Area codes are as normal as a first name. It's a normal, natural part of the phone number. 

Do you know how many times I have entered a seven-digit phone number into my phone... only to delete it because no one mentions their area code? Every time! And, honestly, not absolutely everyone has the same area code around here. Some people, like Mr. Wonderful and I, recently moved to the area and have not yet converted to a local number. 

With cell phones these days, who needs a specific area code anyway?

2. Southern Living magazine

In the last two months, I have received six ads from Southern Living magazine, requesting me to subscribe. This one is quite simple: 

No.

I live in the South. It is absolutely nothing like the glamorized South people dream about.  The magazine portrays a south that I am certainly not living. So, no. 

3. Half-conversations

It is reasonable to have a conversation with someone and come back to it at a later time or date. That's totally normal. What's not normal is having a conversation and coming back by randomly blurting out statements that could relate to a hundred different things. 

"Purple."

"Five Dollars."

"Tuesday afternoon."

What does that mean??!?

Something to do with yesterday's conversation, if I ask several questions to figure out what the person was talking about. 

Oh boy....

I live in a constant state of confusion. :)

It's Like Living in an Episode from TLC

Have you ever watched TLC (The Learning Channel)? It's awesome!

Its so much fun to sit there and watch all of the craziness of this world.

But...

I had no idea that all of the crazy and absurd stuff was from the South. It all make sense now! I feel like I am walking through an episode of Extreme Couponers every time I go to the grocery store.

Actually its kind of like, what's wrong with me? I'm not leaving the store with hundreds of dollars with of product that I used hundreds of coupons to pay for. Must have left the super-dupper binder at home. In all seriousness - the first three weeks I was here, I never went grocery shopping without seeing less than five people with those massive binder bags and multiple carts. It was so frustrating, I started shopping late at night to avoid the crowds.

Side note: My husband and I use coupons as often as we can to save money. But I buy one newspaper a week and that is where all of my coupons come from. It really does help and the papers always pay for themselves plus some. One time I had a paper that paid for itself and cut $20 from grocery bill. That was an exciting week! Coupons normally save me $3-10 and the cost of the paper each week. So nothing crazy.

I also think I may have seen the camera men filming episodes for Toddlers & Tiaras... and Hoarders...

Confessions of a Northerner (in the South)

So it doesn't take a genius to figure out that the North and the South are very different. When I lived on the West Coast for a very short period of time, I never had people comment on the fact that I was from the East Coast and I never struggled to fit in there. I always thought that we all live in the United States of America, and we may have been raised differently.... but we are from the same country after all.

But I have to tell you, growing up in Big City, Northeast, and moving to Small Town, South has been a shocker to the system. It has been total culture shock!

Here are some of the wild & crazy things that I have noticed about the South. Not that they are bad; they have just been total shockers to me.

1. Fried Food 
Wow! Everything they eat down here is fried! I didn't even know it was possible. Back in the North, we try to figure out how to make all of the traditional fried foods taste amazing without being fried. And here in the South, they actually try to fry everything! It's amazing. Fried chicken, fried chicken, fried chicken. Fried appetizers - mozzarella sticks, onion rings, french fries, pickles, and okra. Fried desserts - twinkies, oreos, doughnuts, and ice cream. I've even heard of fried pizza.

Ick!! I really, really don't like fried food as a general rule. An occasional meal at Chick-fil-a. A once-a-year appetizer at the Cheesecake Factory of fried zucchini with their amazing ranch dressing. (There are a few reasons that was a once-a-year treat!) Everything else is baked. Like I even bake my own egg rolls, so I don't have to have greasy ones whenever I make a non-greasy homemade Chinese meal.

Would you guess what I have eaten a lot of since I moved to Small Town, South? Fried chicken, fried chicken, friend chicken. Do you know what people are constantly encouraging me to try? Fried pickles, fried okra, and fried oreos.

The thought of all that the grease makes me want to go take a shower and spend thirty minutes working out...

2. Food
Speaking of fried food, does everything revolve around food? I mean, I love food as much, if not more, than the next person, but why does every activity or event have gobs of food at it? Like, why can't we just fellowship for the joy of fellowshipping? Do we really need those doughnuts? The fried chicken has got to stop. I really can't take anymore of the fried chicken... It's no wonder I'm on a diet. Thank you, South!

On top of that, every single restaurant here has a buffet.

I don't like buffets.

Do you know how many people have touched at serving utensil? When exactly was it last cleaned? How many hours ago was this food prepared? 

I didn't even know that KFC had buffets, and I thought Pizza Hut did away with theirs in the 90s. Every time we happen to be out with someone, I want to ask if they mind if I order a meal instead of the buffet. (I'm making faces at the computer right now, just at the thought of the buffet.)

3. Walmart
Remember Big City, Northeast? 100,000 people live in a five mile radius with one Walmart? Yeah... Well, I think there are like 20,000 people in a 30 mile radius and I have never been to a busier Walmart in all of my life. (With the exception of Black Thursday Night & Friday) There are always tons of people there.

Some of the teenagers said it was because it was the only place to hang out, and adults said it was because it is one of three places to do grocery shopping, but seriously people... Walmart has great prices but it's not that cool!

There are always lines at the four registers that are open (and yes, they do have the standard 25 registers for absolutely no reason since they are never open!). Some items are always sold out or picked through. There are always carts totally blocking entire aisles so you have to wait until it clears out to go down the aisle. Between the crazies and the extreme couponers who block the aisles, I have decided to not go to Walmart before 9 PM. The later, the better.

4. No Chinese Takeout
Chinese takeout was not something that my husband and I did frequently, but it was a nice convenience. They seem to be always open and if you find a good one, it's usually worth getting in a pinch. One night my husband and I worked super late at Small Town Baptist Church. There was no way that I was going to make dinner that night. So we called a friend and asked if they knew of any good Chinese takeout.

They actually asked what that was.

Then I called a Chinese restaurant that we pass on the way home. They looked at us cock-eyed too. (I could here it over the phone!) We finally persuaded them that it was putting a prepared meal (versus buffet) in a box and me eating it at home, not in the restaurant.

Oh, what an experience!

5. Country Music & Cowboy Boots
I don't have much to say about either of these items other than they seem to be epidemic. Some of those boots really are cute, but I just can't picture them on my feet.

Really expensive boots from Country Outfitters

Check back sometime and I am sure that by then I will have posted some other culture shock-type items. :)

~Kay

A Southern Heart

When I first moved to the South, I was in total shock. It was ... no, it is...completely different than anything that I am used to. I've been around the country and across the globe, but to live in the South is totally different than just passing through.

Even though on the surface, the South is totally different than the North, I really like the heart.

1. The Camaraderie
(Yes, I spelled that wrong the first time! Always grateful for spell check.)

Everywhere you go, everyone knows... everyone! And everyone knows that they don't know me. It's kind of funny that way. Whenever we go out with someone from Small Town Baptist Church, it seems like they know everyone that we run into!

Now, I was always a fan of the privacy and anonymity of Big City, and still lean toward that. But I do think it is neat to be able to talk to the person across the counter and know them as a person not just an employee.

2. Ease of Conversation
Back in Big City, it would be totally weird to stand and talk to the complete stranger at the checkout line. Do you know how many times I have done that since moving to Small Town? Enough times to notice. :) Again its interesting to be able to talk to someone I have never met before and might never seen again. I am used to talking to someone I don't know when it comes to inviting them to church or telling them about God's free gift of salvation, but beyond that... I always feel like my mouth is hanging open because I am so in shock.

3. Small Town Baptist Church
I love my new church! The people are simply as sweet as can be. They are always excited about coming to church and they have been so welcoming to my husband and I.

4. My Apartment
Ok, I am just going to say it... I really do love my new apartment. Even though it was bigger and newer, it took me a while to get used to it. Now I can say I love it.

5. Modest Clothing
This is totally awesome! In Big City, it is really difficult to find "naturally modest" clothing. You have to layer and layer and layer to get the tops just right. You have to spend a fortune when you find a single skirt that is just the right length. And dresses are a lucky blessing, usually I find one that is close and let the hem out. (Not that these items aren't readily available. They just aren't available at my preferred modesty level. And no... I'm not over the top.)

It has been so refreshing to go to the store and actually find clothes that fit into my style & modesty level. No, it isn't every single item, but there are a whole lot more options.

6. Fearless
The crime rate is super-low in Small Town, South! I don't have to worry about staying home alone without my husband or any of the other crimes that would have been a concern in Big City.

Confessions of a Northerner

I am from Big City, Northeast. It is my home and my heart. My favorite places to visit are the surrounding Big Cities along the East Coast. Memories of home include bright twinkling lights on dark nights, traffic, honking horns, shopping galore, historic districts dwarfed by mammoth sky rises, and people everywhere you turn.

In my early twenties, my husband and I moved from our happy cozy condo on the corner of a busy street in the suburbs of Big City, Northeast to a significantly larger apartment on a quiet street in Small Town, South – hours from a large city or a honking horn or a sky rise. A place where people were excited that 2,000 cars drove on the main road in a single day!

Talk about a dramatic change! (No, not traumatic... although sometimes it feels like that)

Although Small Town, South, would probably never be my first choice for a place to live, this is where God wants us to be. God called my husband to be a youth pastor when he was a teenager, and God has called us to live here in Small Town to work at Small Town Baptist Church. It's new, it's different, it's a little weird... but we love it! All because God is in control.