Feeling at Home

When I moved it to Small Town, South, I knew that it was going to be culture shock. I knew that it was going to be tough. While I had lived in some polar-extreme places throughout the country, Small Town was going to be a really big change. I am a suburbs girl, and I was settling so far from the suburbs it was funny. Needless to say, the first couple of months I didn't feel at home.

Six months passed and I still didn't feel at home. Trust me it wasn't just moving away from close family and friends. My philosophy has always been family will always be there, and so will your closest friends... It was the culture shock. As one of my friends said, "You need a passport to go to that area." The food - beans, fried something, beans, and more greasy, fried something. The total lack of any friends or even people to talk to. The lack of convenience. (I still struggle with grocery shopping.)

How do you feel at home in a place that is clearly not home?

1.  Get to know the people. Invite them into your home for a simple dinner, chat, play games. (Playing games is really big here.) If they invite you into their home, don't turn down the offer unless you absolutely have to. Spend time talking to them before and after the church services. Make sure you are ready for the services before you get there, so that you can talk with the people. I like to stand in the lobby and greet people as they come into the building. Pray for them. After being at Small Town Baptist Church for sixth months, I still felt that I hadn't made much headway in getting to know the people in the church. They were so skeptical of my husband and I, but slowly, and I mean slowly, they started to come around.

2.  Be involved. It's kind of funny telling ministry-minded people to be involved, isn't it? Don't be so involved in the work of the ministry that you ignore the people of the ministry. So chat with the other lady in the nursery with you. Smile and chat as you serve food or pour beverages. Hand out bulletins or visitor packets. Always smile and always be friendly. You might have to be out of your comfort zone, but consider it an investment. Its an investment with a huge payday!

3.  Try new things. So yes, that new food sounds totally disgusting... And it tastes worse! But is it a local favorite. Just dig in once so that you can say that you have tried it. If people love doing a particular activity - like playing board games or hunting, join in! You don't have to do the new stuff all the time, but you certainly want to try it once. And you never know, you just might like it.

4.  Make memories. It's seems so simple and yet isn't all that easy to do. Get yourself a tour guide book for your state and a visitor's guide for your area... and become a tourist. (Check the local library!) Plan dates with your husband or your family to see the sights in your area. It's one of things that when you have lived in area for a while, you kind of forget to do. Find the historical sights. Visit the parks. Plan a picnic at the park. On a special day, spend some money and hit the tourist attractions. Just have fun exploring your area! Take pictures to record the memories. This is really important, especially if things aren't going well in your ministry. You will still have good and fun memories at that location. And because you have explored and gotten to know your area, you will feel more at home because of that personal connection.



Also, don't expect to feel at home overnight. I remember when my mom moved quite a distance away from the town she had lived in her entire life. It took her about four years to call our new area "home." When I moved to a different state in a different part of the country, I experienced the same type of thing. It took many, many months to feel at home. And we are still working at it.

~Kay