Looking the Part

If you are anything like me, you probably spend more than a few minutes every day and/or week trying to get ready for church. It's not just about putting on clothes and going to church. It's about looking the part.

Everyone has these crazy expectations about their pastor's wife. It ranges from how many minutes after the services you spend talking... to how you raise your children... to what you wear on a weekly basis. And, oh, the variety in that category alone!

As if you weren't putting enough pressure on yourself to at least look decent at church, the entire church family is carefully watching and scrutinizing... and commenting.

So now we deal with expectations, yet are still stuck facing the standard struggles - budget, ever changing fashions, ever changing body shape, modesty, function in the nursery or and the adult services, and on the list goes.

And somehow through that all, we still have to look the part. We have to be the pastor's wife. The identifiable leader. The example.

(sigh...)

So much pressure!

So how do we do it? How do we look the part?

Dress Above the Average.
A very common leadership dress standard is to dress a step above the average. Unfortunately it is almost always applied to men's wardrobe. If the average wears jeans and a polo, you wear khakis and a button down. If the average wears khakis and a button down, you wear dress pants and a tie or sports coat. If the average wears the sports coat or tie, you should be in both or a suit.

That gets the idea across, but we have to apply it to a woman's wardrobe.

Note: I am 100% convinced that a pastor's wife should wear a skirt to church. Not that she has to live in a skirt (I would be in trouble already), but that she should wear one at every church service. This automatically sets a standard and exhibits leadership.

If they wear casual:
Casual cues being denim, casual pants or bermuda shorts, t-shirts, sneakers or loafers, or anything that you could easily leave church and be comfortable in at a picnic, backyard barbeque, or children's event.
You should wear: a comfortable-type fabric skirt, a shirt appropriate for a casual dining restaurant, at the mall, or at a friend's house. Something that would easily be accessorized with jewelry (and look good). Flats, or sandals.

If they wear business:
Business being suits, suit separates, and office appropriate dresses.
You should wear: something that they would expect to see their boss wearing, walking into an important business meeting. Track down those pencil skirts, blazers, and heels. A word of advice: The acceptable business attire of today is very different than the acceptable style of the 90s or 80s. If you are handy with a sewing machine, you could alter those old clothes and turn them into modern styles.

If they wear dressy:
Dressy being dresses or very nice skirt & shirt combinations. Attention to accessories like jewelry and shoes.
You should wear: Dresses or very nice shirt & skirt combination. It's hard to one-up in this category, but if you make an effort every week, it will be noticed. Wear the jewelry - it doesn't have to be wild or loud. All of this can be accomplished by paying attention to details.

My personal style would be a blend of business and dressy. It's pretty much the standard in the Northeast. But the standard here in Small Town, South, is the casual end of each clothing category. It's been a learning curve for me to "dress down" so as not to make people totally uncomfortable. Some of my beautiful dresses have ended up in the back of the closet, reserved for special occasions such as weddings, dinners, special services or funerals.

You have to adjust to wear you are. If that means dressing up, dress up. If that means dressing down, do it. You are the leader and the example. Take the plunge. Dress the way that is appropriate for your church.

Look the part.