Modesty Minimums

A few days ago, I had mentioned that we, as the pastor's wives, have to look the part and dress above the average. But we also have a responsibility to set the standard for modesty. The women in your church are going to dress according to the temperature of your personal modesty. You know it's true...

I want to suggest some "modesty minimums." I totally understand that everyone has different modesty standards. My modesty standards might be too low for you, but then again my modesty standards might be way too high for you. That's not what this is about.

Business professionals have a minimum dress code. Certain restaurants and events have a minimum dress code. It is logical that a Pastor's wife would have a minimum dress code. These are some guidelines that I stick to. As a result I have never been in a situation where I was "under-dressed" or immodest.

Please keep in mind that these are the minimums that I personally recommend. I would never think down on you if you dressed more or less than these. If you are looking for suggestions, here you go:

(The goal here is to help the men at church. Some of them quiet honestly struggle with their thought lives. I don't want them to be distracted by me - the pastor's wife, while they are at church. Where they should be able to focus entirely on God and grow so that those struggles are no longer an issue.)

1. All skirts must come to the knee. Not above the knee. Not an inch above the knee. To the knee. 
2. All shirts or dresses have sleeves. Keep the sleeveless at home, on vacation, anywhere but at church. Thank the Lord for sweaters, shawls, and blazers! (By the way, I love my sleeveless shirts on a hot sunny day.)
3. Keep the cleavage or shadows of such covered. Get a couple of tank tops in a variety of colors and a handful of safety pins. Jcpenny has some great tank tops without the built-in bra. They are easier to pin higher than those shirts with the built-ins. I like to use these under low shirts and dresses and loose shirts if I am going to be bending over in the nursery. Actually come to think of it, I almost always wear a tank top... They make me comfortable.
4. Keep the bra staps hidden. Again, safety pins can be your best friend. If you have a particular bra that likes to slide to visibility, just pin it out of the way. Men will notice and be thinking about those straps, long before any woman will notice. Let's help the guys out, ladies!
5. Sit with your legs together. You would be amazed at how many different angles people can be at, where they can see when a lady's legs are not together. Keep them together. And if you must cross, cross at your ankles. Crossing your legs, one knee over the other, minimizes circulation and can lead to vericose veins. No one wants those. And it is pretty easy to be sitting immodestly and not even know it. Your skirt could get tucked in the wrong place, and you could be showing off far more leg than you ever intended. 
6. Sky high heels really should be off limits. Not because they aren't cute, but because those heels were designed for one specific purpose - to draw the eye up the leg. I do not want any man's eyes running up my legs. Not all heels should be off limits, just those ones. An appropriate pair of heels with a "normal" non-ankle breaking height can actually help slim a lady. 
7. Keep the clothes loose. Note that I didn't say baggy. Someone said that you should wear clothes that are loose enough to be discreet, but not so loose that you can't tell you are a woman. If your clothing bunches around your chest (or your stomach) or is forced to stretch around your back, it is too tight. But if two people fit in your clothes, they are probably a little too big. (Shopping time!)

You might not agree. You don't have to and I don't really expect you to. But please think about your modesty as you get dressed for church. Think of how your clothing will affect the men in the congregation, not how the ladies will look at it. Ask your husband. He knows what gets him excited, so he surely knows what gets other men excited.

Remember you (we... this is for me too) are dressing to bring honor to the Lord.